Last week I had to have some blood drawn for general prenatal labs, an experience that I dread. But there I bravely sat, in the registrar's office, verifying that all my information was still the same before heading down the long hall to face the needle. The woman efficiently typing away my maiden name, current address and insurance information said, "And you still work at The Dance Center, right?" "No that has changed," I said. "Well what do you do now?" The question took me by surprise. What DO I do now? What definition do I have? "Oh, umm, well I'm just a stay-at-home-mom." As soon as the words fell off my tongue I wanted to shove them back in my mouth. "Oh ok. Well, teaching dance must have been a lot of fun." Her response felt like a calculated right cross, adding further humiliation to my insignificant life.
Why did I feel embarrassed to tell her that I'm a stay-at-home-mom? And why was she moved to empathize with me over the fact that I'm not active in the workforce anymore? Do you ever feel like you're "just" a mom? Like what you give in your home every day doesn't really mean anything? Do you sometimes feel like you're not doing anything "real" with your life because your day-to-day consists merely of laundry, dishes, diapers and sitting on the park bench watching your kids throw sand into the air? I do!
But I regret allowing these thoughts to manifest themselves so boldly in my mind. "You're nothing more than a mom now" is a dangerous lie that the enemy tells to try to get us discouraged and off track. Before I had kids, I shamefully admit, I was a harsh judge of women who aspired to be "just" moms. I thought, doesn't she want something more for her life? Has she no ambition? Now that I have a son, I realize how completely wrong I was in my assumptions.
The Lord is showing me what a privelege it is to be the entrusted care-taker of young lives. When He gives us a child, He gives us a gift; and not just the gift of the child. He gives us the gift of motherhood, something totally underestimated by the world's standards, but a blessed, enriched, fulfilled occupation in His sight.
When your first child was born, you received a CALLING. It is a calling with a great purpose. It is a calling with unimaginable reward. And it is a calling that requires a response. We can choose to respond grudgingly, with unwilling hearts to fulfill this call, or we can respond as Mary did:
"My soul glorifies the Lord
and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
...for the Mighty One has done great things for me."
Mary was a young girl with her whole life ahead of her. She had the potential to bring great honor to her family name. And now she was found unmarried and pregnant, making her less than nothing in that society. She was a disgrace, not even worthy to live. And she responded with a heart of thankfulness. She saw what God had in mind for her, and any ambition she had had for her future life turned dim in light of His Will over her.
Women of God, we should make this our response as well, understanding that God has placed a personal, intimate, glorified calling over our lives as mothers. It is a calling that ushers in a great amount of responsibility and we should not take it lightly, as the world often does. Don't let the lie of the enemy convince you that you are something "less" than significant because of what you DO. You are a daughter in a divine family, and you have been given an enormously important role to fulfill.
The next time someone asks me what I do, I hope I will respond in confidence, chest puffed out, beaming with pride, "I am a daughter of the Most High God! I am a blessed vessel! I am a shaper of lives and giver of wisdom! I am strong, powerful and able! I AM a Stay-At-Home-Mom!"
Ok, that might be a little much to profess in the middle of the registrar's office at the health lab, but I definitely plan on not lowering my eyes to the ground the next time I answer this question. I will choose to respond in thankfulness for the amazing gift God has given me!
Just read this post Tasha and I got tears in my eyes! I've had those kinds of negative responses too, from myself and from others. Now, I say with a smile "I GET to stay home with my kids!" Saying it that way tells the person that my life and position in the world is a blessing and helps me remember that it's something not everyone gets to have. It's really helped in my determination to change people's assumptions that just cause I stay home I'm trapped or giving up on being "a professional." Making a choice to devote your life to something is a big deal for anyone and serving my husband and children and THE LORD in this way is beautiful and worth it, even when it's seriously the hardest thing I've ever done! :o) Love your heart and your words and the encouragement they bring to me!
ReplyDelete"I GET to stay home..." I love that, Molly! Thank you for sharing!
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